Excuse the rookie question, but I am a newbie to coffee. (I blame my nationality; I grew up with tea. ;) )
What equipment, exactly, do I need to get from coffee beans to a cup of espresso that I can drink?
Easiest thing is a bean to cup machine like any of these, these will grind a pre-measured amount of beans, heat water and pump through into your cup and dispense the used grounds into a grounds bin internally.
Going the other way you need a minimum of some form of grinder (preferably burr type) which can be manual or electric.
A 'normal' espresso machine like these which may or may not have a milk frother.
You can opt for a digital scale machine to weigh your beans, possibly mineral water if you hate descaling your machine.
The scales are for measuring an accurate amount of beans, I do this because I have a manual grinder. The water is cheap still mineral water because I live in the south of England and the water is so incredibly hard that it has tattoos.
Also you need cups to drink the final product.